Real Story: From Chaos to Inner Peace

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Thuy Tran featuredAs we drive along the Californian coast with my husband and two young children, who are amazingly quiet in the car, I have lots of time for gratitude and reflection. The ocean, such a nice change of scenery, is a reminder of tranquillity and peace – two things which, just over two years ago, I could never have imagined myself feeling. Though my life is abundant, and I am truly grateful for it, this hasn’t always been the case.

In Asian culture, perseverance, sacrifice and service of others over self are core virtues taught to children. So, growing up, I was taught to do as I was told, to follow the rules, and to work hard for the finer things in life. Overall, one could say those are good principles to follow. Adherence to these virtues was how I was able to pay for my own braces and cheerleading camp at age 14, and it was how I was able to work my way through college for both my undergraduate and graduate degrees. Perseverance helped me land a career at a major corporation after being initially overlooked. Determination helped me work my way up the corporate ladder into a fancy titled position and six-figure income.

And these same core virtues also helped to bring my life crashing down all at once.  My ability to persevere had served me well – perhaps a little too well. Through perseverance, I was able to push on instead of dealing with all the emotions that surround being molested multiple times in my life between the ages of 9 and 36. Two of these isolated incidents were by perpetrators who were close to the family, and the other two were complete strangers. Added to a childhood in impoverished conditions, the early responsibility of raising my younger siblings, and occasional violence and lost pregnancies later in life, the ramifications of my experiences were immense. I was able to suppress my emotions on most fronts and I could create the facade of a normal life, but I was left with a lack of confidence and self-worth and a sense of shame that would later surface with a vengeance at the peak of my career.

By early 2012, I had everything I’d imagined I’d want. I was married, and I had two kids, a cute Spanish-style home, a career I thought I loved, a comfortable income, and a company car. My life looked perfect to an outsider – but in reality, I was terribly unbalanced. Between the commute, time in the office, and work I took home, my career took up just about every waking moment. I was a dedicated employee but an absentee wife and mom, and that imbalance eventually caught up with me. The physical ailments of stress appeared in the form of numbness in my face, bodily aches and pains, and anxiety and panic attacks. Depression started to kick in as my marriage and my performance at work both collapsed. When my division was consolidated, I was offered a choice between a position with a longer commute and a severance package, I opted for the latter and ran – my lack of confidence and self-worth had convinced me that I was a failure, and shame started to settle in.

With time on my hands, I could finally start on my path to healing. At first, I acted out, living in anger and blame. I was angry at the company for not giving me the resources I needed to be successful. I was angry at my husband for not understanding how hard I worked and why I did it. I threw caution to the wind in the most selfish and reckless ways, abandoning my values of compassion and understanding to pursue momentary escapes. I allowed my marriage to continue to fall apart, keeping busy with social activities and attempted business ventures. I consciously chose anger so I wouldn’t have to be accountable for my current state.  This time period was also host to a record number of trips to Las Vegas, most of which led to excessive drinking and unbecoming behaviour. Until that point, I had never drunk to the point of memory loss, but this was a new version of me that no one recognized and it caused challenges in some of my most cherished friendships. The combination of drink and antidepressants helped me avoid feeling anything; it numbed the pain of self-judgment. My perfect life had unravelled, and I was at my ultimate low. By early 2013, depressed and still unemployed, I filed for divorce.

Sometimes the darkness is much easier to live with than any of the emotions I suppressed. I wasn’t ready to dissect my behaviour; I was still so angry about where I was, and I didn’t understand how I could have worked so hard, given my all, and still failed. I didn’t know what was next for me, but I knew that things had to change.

I am, at heart, an optimist and a realist. I knew I was lost, and I knew I needed help, so I started seeing a therapist weekly. I started searching my soul and reexamining all my values. My search led me to the vortexes in Sedona in the hopes of restoration, and I participated in just about every known method of  mental and spiritual healing there is. By late 2013, I began to find my way. It became clear to me that I was meant to become a business coach. I stumbled upon a free coach sells training program and attended a seminar in February 2014. I walked away from that event – invested in a coach, and I signed up for another seminar on mastering fears. I had just wanted to improve my coaching and to learn how to face some of my fears of being an entrepreneur, but I ended up getting far more than I’d bargained for. It was my turning point – my first step toward inner peace. I was taught tools to deal with all the emotional trauma from my early years, and I let go of all my fears of failure, success, vulnerability, and acceptance. The fears of unworthiness and of being unlovable and unsafe have proven to be more difficult, but I work at it every day.

Now, at age 39, I look back on my journey with gratitude for the tough times. My first year in business has been wildly successful, and my coaching programs are thriving. Life is truly abundant, and it was through darkness and chaos that I learned to find inner peace, to bring balance and love back into my life, and to appreciate the power of the human spirit.

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Thuy Tran is Business Strategist, Life Coach, and Healer who partners with her clients to help them to the next level in building a cohesive business and life. She takes a deeply thoughtful approach to showing clients how to achieve success and satisfaction. She believes the key to
growth is uncovering the hidden challenges and fears, and making conscious choices to be in action. She is one of the few practitioners who uses the Instant Miracle technique to dissolve resistance. Thuy brings her positive energy forward to every client interaction, reconnecting people to their core professional and life purpose. She holds an M.B.A in Accounting. A board member for the Orange County Professional Women group and has been guest speaker for the Mihaylo School of Business M.B.A Program and Design for Living Radio. Thuy resides in Southern California with her husband and two children. Learn more about Thuy at www.ABCsforBusinessSuccess.com

About Thuy Tran

Thuy Tran is Business Strategist, Life Coach, and Healer who partners with her clients to help them to the next level in building a cohesive business and life. She takes a deeply thoughtful approach to showing clients how to achieve success and satisfaction. She believes the key to growth is uncovering the hidden challenges and fears, and making conscious choices to be in action. She is one of the few practitioners who uses the Instant Miracle technique to dissolve resistance. Thuy brings her positive energy forward to every client interaction, reconnecting people to their core professional and life purpose. She holds an M.B.A in Accounting. A board member for the Orange County Professional Women group and has been guest speaker for the Mihaylo School of Business M.B.A Program and Design for Living Radio. Thuy resides in Southern California with her husband and two children. Learn more about Thuy at www.ABCsforBusinessSuccess.com

2 Comments

  1. iceryder@gmail.com'

    Judy

    January 14, 2015 at 9:58 am

    You are amazing! Thank you for sharing your story.

  2. gerihereisheaven@gmail.com'

    Geri

    January 16, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story, Thuy. It gives others the opportunity to look outside the box.

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